How to Know Whom You Can Trust

Before our trust can be lost, we first have to give it out. For some people, we make them earn our trust, but for others, we freely give it away. “Trust is both an emotional and logical act.” On one hand, it is a feeling. If we have some familiarity with a person, that is if they share something meaningful with us such as culture, values, or even community, we are more likely to give them our trust without expecting them to earn it first. According to author Simon Sinek, “When we’re surrounded by people who believe what we believe, something remarkable happens, trust emerges.” On the other hand, before we are willing to do business with a stranger, we want some assurance that they will provide what is expected.

It’s not surprising that dysregulated eaters, who often have little self-trust, also have difficulty with knowing whether or not to trust others. Knowing who to trust is a learned ability, a skill. One way to assess trust is through verification. Another is by recognizing what people do when they feel guilty. The motivation behind trust is to find someone who cares enough about us that we can rely on them. But, that desire involves risk. When we trust someone, we make ourselves vulnerable to that person. We give that person the power to hurt us. Do you know if the person you want to trust cares about you? If not, then you might want to make them prove their trustworthiness first.